Tuesday, September 23, 2025

Friendships / Commjnity

 We live in a world full of noise, yet loneliness is at an all-time high. Many believers long for friendships that are more than surface-level. You want people who pray for you, walk with you, and remind you of God’s truth when you forget it yourself.

But here’s the problem. Friendships like that don’t come easy. They require time, trust, and intentional effort. And often, we don’t know where to start.

This might surprise you, but pastors can feel deeply disconnected.

We show up. We smile. We serve. We pray with people as they pour out their struggles.

But what happens when we’re the ones struggling? When we need community?

Being a pastor can be lonely. 

There are seasons when I’ve felt cut off from the very people I serve. I’ve longed for deeper friendships, yet those connections often felt just out of reach.

Part of the challenge is the strange tension of being both a pastor and a friend.

People wonder, “If I share this, will it end up in a sermon?” Or they keep me at arm’s length, treating me like a spiritual leader but not like a person. At times, I’m left wondering: am I being invited in as a friend, or am I simply filling the role of “pastor”?

For someone who’s always been in leadership, always on staff, always carrying purpose, finding genuine friendships has never come easy.

But I have found them. And that gives me hope. It took time to build those friendships, and they didn’t happen overnight. Even now, my friends understand that I go through seasons where I’m not as responsive as I’d like to be. Yet when we check in, we pick up right where we left off.

That kind of grace-filled friendship is rare, but it’s real. And if God has provided it for me, He can do the same for you.

One of the clearest examples of godly friendship is the bond between David and Jonathan.

Jonathan was King Saul’s son, the rightful heir to the throne. David was the shepherd boy anointed by God to be king. By all logic, they should have been rivals. But scripture tells us, 

1 Sam 18:1

That word “knit” paints a powerful picture. Their lives were woven together by something stronger than circumstance. This was not a casual friendship. It was a covenant. Jonathan even gave David his robe, armor, and sword (1 Samuel 18:4). That act was symbolic of surrendering his right to the throne and acknowledging God’s hand on David’s life.

Jonathan risked everything to protect David, even when it meant defying his own father. He chose loyalty to God’s will over his own advancement. David, for his part, never forgot Jonathan’s kindness. Years later, when Jonathan was gone, David sought out his son Mephibosheth. Instead of eliminating a rival to the throne, David chose to show kindness for Jonathan’s sake (2 Samuel 9:7).

Their story reminds us that real friendship is not built on convenience. It is built on covenant. It means showing up when it costs you something. It means choosing faithfulness over personal gain. It means loving someone enough to put their good above your own comfort.

In a world where many relationships are disposable, Jonathan and David show us a friendship that mirrors God’s own covenant love. 

It is faithful, sacrificial, and enduring.

https://open.substack.com/pub/faithunplugged/p/why-you-cant-find-real-community?r=43vew&utm_medium=ios

- Chris McKinney


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