Slow to Speak

Aaron Salvato

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”

James 1:19, KJV

Slowness to speak is a virtue, not something to be ashamed of.

Over the past few days, I’ve had long, honest conversations with several young people…. some still in their teens, others in their early twenties. They’re overwhelmed, heavy-hearted, and exhausted. Not just because of the state of the world, but because of the PRESSURE they feel to say something about it. 

Immediately. Publicly. Perfectly.

Before they’ve had time to pray, to think, to grieve, or even to understand, they feel dragged into a war of optics and urgency. The second tragedy strikes, the demand arises:

“Why haven’t you posted?”

“Where’s your statement?”

“Your silence is evil.”

It’s the liturgy of our age: signal, perform, declare your alignment. And if you don’t? You’re labeled complicit, apathetic, cowardly, or worse.

This performative pressure doesn’t just come from one political direction. I see it coming from every side. From progressives and conservatives alike, from all corners of the spectrum, shouting in unison: “If you do not say something the right way and right now, then you are part of the problem.” 

And the effect on young hearts and minds is DEVASTATING.

They’re being told, “If you don’t speak out, you’re letting the enemy win.” 

So they speak, usually before they’re ready. And the moment they do, they’re sucked into a digital vortex:

Angry comments, arguments, misinterpretations, endless DMs.

People projecting, people attacking.

Strangers declaring them the enemy.

Family members pushing back.

Sleepless nights defending themselves at 3am in a thread they never wanted to be in.

In some cases, I’ve even seen young people take private conversations with family…often well-meaning but clumsy attempts to process hard things… and post them online. 

Dragging family pain into the public square as rage fuel for strangers to feast on.

None of this is healthy. None of this is helping. And none of this is what these young souls were made for.

This morning, my wonderful mother and I were texting about all of this… about how before the rise of social media, the human soul only had to carry a few burdens at a time. 

You’d hear about a couple of major world events on the radio, or catch a story in the local paper. 

You might talk it through with a friend, your pastor, your spouse. And that was enough to grieve through for the week, or even the month.

But now? We carry everything. Every heartbreak, every horror, every opinion, every reaction. We scroll through a digital flood of rage, confusion, division, violence, and grief… and we absorb it instantly. It doesn’t even give us the dignity of time.

We’ve handed our young people something like dark psychic powers… 

These glowing rectangles in their pockets instantly tell them what every person they know thinks, feels, and argues about. 

Everyone. Influencers, politicians, armchair theologians, anonymous mobs.

They open their phone, and within seconds, they’re flooded with pain and outrage that no single soul was meant to carry.

That doesn’t mean we should ignore what’s happening in the world. It doesn’t mean we stick our heads in the sand. But we must teach the next generation that:

It is not your job to fix the world.

Jesus already took that job.

And he’s not behind.

He’s not panicking.

He’s redeeming, healing, restoring.

And yes, he’s inviting you to join him… but on his terms, not the algorithm’s.

If we keep throwing ourselves into the frontlines of every cultural battle, unarmed with the Spirit of Christ, we will never learn to live out his radical ethic of enemy love. 

Taking time to sit with God in silence and grief is not apathy. It is formation. It is what Jesus himself did… he withdrew to the wilderness to commune with the Father and cry out over all that is wrong with the world. 

If the Son of God had to retreat to pray, why do we think we can heal the world without doing the same?

So to the young person reading this:

You are allowed to be quiet.

You are allowed to take time.

You are allowed to pray before posting.

You are allowed to choose peace over performance.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

You don’t need to keep bleeding for the internet.

And you were never meant to carry this all alone.