Fellowship Cheapened

 If you are like me, there is little correlation between stereotypical church fellowship and finding a place where you truly belong (what we are looking for in a church). “Fellowship” has been relegated to potlucks and pancake breakfasts and forced fun and icebreaker games.

Belonging is something so much deeper, a soul-level connection that speaks to our yearnings and needs and draws us in. Belonging is finding the kind of place, the kind of community God has designed us for. 

The problem is that we have cheapened the reality of fellowship in the church, and in the process, we have made it difficult for people to belong.

A simple way to define true Christian fellowship is a gathering of believers where the Bible’s one-another commands are lived out with joy. Here’s a non-comprehensive list of these commands:

Love one another (John 13:34); Build one another up (1 Thessalonians 5:11); Bear with one another (Colossians 3:13); Forgive one another (Ephesians 4:32); Serve one another (Galatians 5:13). Be devoted to one another(Romans 12:10).

Pray for one another (James 5:16); Teach one another (Colossians 3:16); Live in harmony with one another(Romans 12:16); Submit to one another(Ephesians 5:21); Honor one another(Romans 12:10); Welcome one another(Romans 15:7); Encourage one another(1 Thessalonians 4:18); Exhort one another (Hebrews 3:13).

Imagine being in a group of Christians who, transformed by Jesus, interacted this way. It’s hard to imagine not having a sense of belonging, right? It would be the most uplifting, Christ-centered, happy, unified group of people. And that is precisely Christ’s design for his church.

Christian fellowship doesn’t just happen. We have an impressive but sad ability to gather together with consistency and frequency and still fail at meaningful fellowship. We can even study the Bible and miss out on it.

But if we are intent on trusting Christ to work in us as we gather and open to being Christlike as we gather, then — whether it’s for a meal or a church service or a golf game or a playdate for the kids — we share in that beautiful fellowship.

We were designed for this kind of fellowship, this kind of connection in Jesus, and we cannot find it anywhere but the body of Christ. This is what finding true belonging in the church looks like.

Finding True Belonging

“Belonging” means more than just feeling at home or at ease. We belong when we are fulfilling the design God has given us and living as he made us to live. And he made us to be part of his church, to find a place of honesty and safety and patience and healing and fellowship.

Sadly, we will not always feel like we belong. Church will not always go smoothly, either because of something awry in our hearts, or because of something awry in the body of believers, or maybe because of both.

When we feel like we don’t belong, we often live with a foot out the door and an eye on other possibilities. We hold back relationally, and we hold back our gifts, talents, and resources (or we give them elsewhere, in places we feel like we belong).