Bouts with doubts

 SURVIVING BOUTS WITH DOUBTS

Every couple of years I sponsor a DOUBT NIGHT. A group of people gather and are given a 3X5 card to anonymously jot down their top doubts about God, life, death, and suffering. When read aloud the responses are usually not belligerent, arrogant questions of God but vulnerable, raw, naked, honest cries of the soul. Why do so many starve? Why pandemics? Why does the killer go free, and the honest man die of cancer? Why does God not give me the desires of my heart? Why did that horrible thing happen to me in the middle of the night? Most find it cathartic to be given space to voice doubt and empathize with others.

I was reading the book of Job. Job wrestled mightily with his doubts. Interesting… he never found out why he was suffering, at least not on this side of eternity. In the end, his help was not in REASONS but in a RELATIONSHIP. It was not in PRINCIPLES but in a PERSON. It was not in the WHY but in a WHO. Job shook on the ROCK, but the ROCK did not shake under him. 

Then Job replied to the LORD: “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.  You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely, I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’  My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.” (Job 42:1-5).

C. S. Lewis in the Narnia series writes of Lucy encountering Aslan, the Christ figure.  “‘Welcome, child,” he said.    “AsIan,” said Lucy, “you’re bigger.”    “That is because you are older, little one,” answered he.    “Not because you are?”    “I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”