Selfinflicted bitterness

 After 27 years of cruel mistreatment in South African prisons, Nelson Mandela said, “As I walked out the door to the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew that if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”

Bitterness and hatred lock people in their own dark prison. It’s a place without real love, without mercy. It makes life a dead end game of constant hurt and retribution. Being bitter can be accompanied by a number of triggers that spiral into depression and isolation. 

What has caused my resentments?  Am I really bitter?  My list is probably long as I wake up out of my fog.  I realize that the way I grew up is not the way it should have been. Abiding by The Bible’ rules was a half truth, not that my church was any different than others. Does anyone know better than what they were taught?  We goof up and make mistakes throughout life developing unhealthy practices. But the more habitual we are to His presence, we keep a short account of our sins.  We cannot go back and make everything right from the past. Even though we forgive, we do not have to allow that same person and memory to control us.  We can be chained to the past, ina  prison of resentment and bitter memories, allowing our pain to be our identity.  Peter denied Jesus three times and fell asleep when asked to pray.  Yet Jesus restored him, changing his name from soft Simon to Peter the Rock  (John 18:15-27; 21:-5-  How can my pain, my past, my struggles be used for good?  I can continue to be angry, hurt, negative, filled with cynicism, and sarcastic, all the while ruining what the good and beautiful in relationships could be.  We are all infants in our maturity.  We are like new norms that need to be picked up and held, encouraged, that we are His beloved.  Our emotions can be all over the place, depending on the events.  We can respond to circumstances S we were gained or as worse, or we can follow Jesus.

Questions asked: 

1. Is there a painful experience you need to put down?

2. Is there a habit or a behavior that knocks you down?

3. Do you need to a demon see of God’s love, that He is with you in your pain?

4. Do you have a thorn in the flesh that you need to embrace, surrendering it to His presence?

5. Do you need to remember the nails in Jesus feet and hands?

Here is to loving anyway

Here is to hoping anyway

Here is to pressing on anyway

Samuel James / it’s like a genetic predisposition that you swear off in adolescence and surrender to later, the complaining-as-happiness mind virus is alive and well in me.

Life is still disappointing. Things fall apart. My control over my life, my health, my prospects, etc., slips away even faster. So, my eyes drop and I start to look around. I see people who disappoint me. I see churches that let me down. I see teachers that didn’t go far enough with me. I see parents that should have anticipated their errors. I see books that promised what didn’t happen. I see leaders that just don’t get it. And I think: “The problem is them.”

Things I’m learning from sabbatical. Month one.✌🏼

- I’ll never take preaching and teaching for granted again.

- Stress is a master of disguise. It often hides behind your very purpose. 

- My wife carries more of the load than I realized. Just because I don't feel the same emotions doesn't mean they aren't real, and heavy.

- Listening to sermons is easy and entertaining. Living them takes work and accountability.

- Jesus never said, “See you next week.” Follow Me wasn’t an invitation to an event. It was a challenge to give up everything that few responded to.

- Too many visions is no vision at all. If it’s not making or empowering disciple-makers, it’s not advancing the Kingdom.

- Rest isn't failure. Not resting is.

You weren't created for your happiness.

You were created for HIS pleasure.

That bitterness you're nursing?

It's not hurting who hurt you.

It's blocking your worship.

"Thou art worthy, O Lord... for thy pleasure they are and were created"

- Rev 4:11 KJV

Follow @Biblical Man for more truth.

Jonathan Eng’s moving new biography of Dr. Martin Luther King.

Phillip Yancey - We in the body of Christ are called to show love when God seems not to. Page 184