Dangers Of A Hard Heart - Carey Nieuhoff

 

Celebrate…And You Don’t Really Cry

A hard heart is a flat heart. Not much gets in.

Joy doesn’t. Sadness doesn’t.

And while you don’t want to be unstable or imbalanced, it’s actually normal and healthy to feel the ups and downs of life and leadership.

You’re supposed to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. But when you’re heart gets hard, you don’t.

A hard heart is a flat heart. Not much gets in. CLICK TO TWEET

2. You Fake Your Emotions

Truthfully, we’ve all done this in seasons. And sometimes you need to.

When you’re the leader, you ‘have’ to lead in the public eye, and sometimes that means smiling when you’re not happy and showing empathy when you don’t feel it. As far as I’m concerned, that’s not a lie nor is it inauthentic if it only happens once in a while. When that happens occasionally, you’re simply being a leader, not a liar.

But when faking your emotions become a pattern, it’s a sign something is deeply wrong. And that kind of faking can’t last if you want to lead and live well.

Fake your emotions enough times and your leadership will stop resonating with the people you lead. Why? Because you’ve stopped becoming an authentic leader. 

And not only is authenticity a non-negotiable leadership quality in our culture, it’s something God deeply values too. God tends to work best through genuine people.

Not only is authenticity a non-negotiable leadership quality in our culture, it's something God deeply values too. God tends to work best through genuine people.  CLICK TO TWEET

Your Mission Is Too Important To Go Unheard.

Engaging an audience and inspiring change is an essential part of any mission. If you’re finding it difficult to do that online, then it’s time to start using strategies that get people engaged and excited to follow you. 

Your mission will become far more effective when you have a proven digital strategy and can produce meaningful content that people love to receive.

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3. You Say “I Don’t Care” A Lot

Maybe this is more personal than universal, but a sure sign my heart is in trouble is when I hear myself saying “I don’t care” repeatedly.

Naturally, there are things you don’t care about and more than a few you shouldn’t care about.

But there’s a line I can easily cross where I stop caring about things I should care about, and that’s a warning sign.

When does not caring become an issue? Well, for me it becomes a problem when:

• Someone’s upset, and I say I don’t care.
• I get disappointed by someone or something, and I say I don’t care.
• If something doesn’t work out the way I hoped, I say I don’t care.
• When my actions hurt someone, and I say I don’t care.

To me, this is a huge warning sign that there’s a problem because I should care. Even if I can’t change the outcome, I should care.

If you really don’t care about the people around you, eventually they’ll stop caring about you.

If you really don’t care about the people around you, eventually they’ll stop caring about you. CLICK TO TWEET

4. So Much of What’s Supposed To Be Meaningful Feels Mechanical

Another sure sign of a hard heart is that you feel like a robot.

What’s supposed to be meaningful has become mechanical. You’re doing your job. You’re getting things done, but it’s just mechanical.

From your personal friendships to your family to work, the feeling’s gone.

We all have seasons like that, but be careful when that season starts to feel normal.

Life isn’t supposed to feel mechanical, it’s supposed to have real highs, real lows, meaning, depth, nuance and beauty. None of that is mechanical.

You know your heart is growing hard when what's supposed to be meaningful has become mechanical. CLICK TO TWEET

5. Passion is Hard to Come By

Remember when you used to be passionate?

Sure. It’s the ‘used to be’ part that’s the problem.

When your heart is growing hard, you lose passion.

For anything. For everything.

It’s pretty normal to lose passion for things that used to matter to you, like say a hobby or activity or even something in your job you used to love but don’t anymore.

It’s a totally different thing when you lose passion for everything.

Your heart and your passion level are deeply connected. Sometimes you’ll try to rekindle your passion when what you really need to do is go deeper and fix your heart.

Your heart and your passion level are deeply connected. Sometimes you’ll try to rekindle your passion when what you really need to do is go deeper, and fix your heart. CLICK TO TWEET

6. You No Longer Believe The Best About People

You know you’re in danger when you meet someone for the first time and you’re thinking about what’s going to go wrong, not what’s going to go right.

A hard heart is a cynical heart. And cynicism projects past failures onto new situations, a sure-fire way of sabotaging all future joy and possibility.

A hard heart is a cynical heart. And cynicism projects past failures onto new situations, a sure-fire way of sabotaging all future joy and possibility.  CLICK TO TWEET

The stakes are high when you stop believing the best and assuming the worst.

Why?

Because it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Leaders who stop believing the best about people stop receiving the best from people.

Leaders who stop believing the best about people stop receiving the best from people. CLICK TO TWEET

7. You’re Growing Cynical

Speaking of cynicism, hard-heartedness and cynicism go hand in hand.

There’s little room in a healthy heart for cynicism. And cynicism creeps in slowly over time.

If you find yourself growing cynical, how do you battle back?

Bottom line? Hope again, believe again and trust again. That’s what hopeful people do.

There's little room in a healthy heart for cynicism. CLICK TO TWEET

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Putting yourself and your message online can feel like you’re taking a shot in the dark, but your mission is too important to go unheard. 

But here's the truth: engaging an audience and inspiring change is an essential part of any mission. 

If you're finding it difficult to do that online, just know that inspiring change online doesn’t have to be complicated, gimmicky, or ruin your integrity. 

You can use proven strategies and principles to get people engaged and excited to join you on your mission.

Your mission will become far more effective when you use a proven digital strategy and can produce content people love to receive.