Grieving / Lament

 Scot McNight

Grieving the life a person once had, or could have had, at times will require returning to childhood to education, to our sexuality, to our view of others in the world, and learning to grieve with the good (144).

Denial, which is a form of non grieving and non lamenting, as she writes, “is a defense mechanism that keeps us from seeing things how they truly are/were, because if we did see them for how they truly are/were, it would feel consciously intolerable.” The blindness to reality requires the removal of the blinders, and to turn toward acceptance of that reality. But “acceptance is not an end point…. [it] means leaning into the present moment and letting the truth that comes from that heal you. Acceptance happens when we allow the blinders to come off and see things with accuracy and honesty.” And, What previously held us in its grip will be experienced as something losing its power and its grip on us.