Jon Tyson - called vs driven

 

"When death, the great Reconciler, has come, it is never our tenderness that we repent of, but our severity." George Eliot, Adam "I am gentle and humble of heart." Jesus I have been a driven man for as long as I can remember. Though easygoing on the surface, there is an internal drive I have wrestled with since I was a kid. I am intensely competitive, require very little external motivation, and can give myself to my work in ways that are borderline unhealthy. But something happened this year, here in the middle years of my life, that I did not see coming. I lost my drive. The deep well within me, the one of ambition and accomplishment, simply dried up. It’s hard to articulate, yet it's as clear as this: I am no longer a driven man.  I am not driven to accomplish things for God to earn his favor. I am not driven by external metrics to make sure "I am doing enough." I am not driven by the expectations of others or the needs of the crowd.  I am not a driven man, and this is disorienting to me.  Something new has sprung up from a deep place within. Something better than a well. A sense of call. God has shown me who I am and who I am not, and there is a tremendous sense of freedom to live as he has made me to be and nothing else. I don’t feel like I have lost a competitive advantage. I don’t feel I’ve gotten lazy or soft. I just feel… joy. Driven men can get a lot done, but do a lot of damage along the way. Driven men can draw a crowd, but rarely see the humanity among them. Driven men can make an impact, but they can also neglect those closest to them. Driven men can change the world, but often this comes at the expense of change that needs to happen in them. I can only reference this because it’s something I read about many years ago in my early thirties; although, it’s something that’s taken me another 15 years to experience first-hand.  In his classic book Ordering Your Private World, Gordon MacDonald talks about the difference between being a called versus driven man. I have written his thoughts in italics and then put a couple of diagnostic questions underneath so you can see if you are a called or driven man. 1. A driven man is most often gratified only by accomplishment.  Am I measuring my value as a person based on my latest project, meeting, outcomes, or differences I perceive myself to be making? 2. A driven man is preoccupied with the symbols of accomplishment.  Do I continually obsess over my social media presence? Do I feel a need to be recognized by my peers in my workplace or industry? 3. A driven man is usually caught in the uncontrolled pursuit of expansion.  Am I moving things forward so I can say that we are moving things forward, or because this is the Spirit-led, wise, healthy, next step for my life, family, and mission? 4. Driven men tend to have a limited regard for integrity. Am I cutting corners under the guise of effectiveness and impact? Am I exaggerating, lying, or telling partial truths to paint a better picture than what is actually happening? Am I emotionally attaching myself to things or people to medicate loneliness, fatigue, or sadness? 5. Driven men are not likely to bother themselves with the honing of people skills.  Am I using people to build myself, or am I serving to build people up? Am I defensive, inaccessible, or standoffish to those who cannot help build my "thing" in a tangible way? 6. Driven men tend to be highly competitive.  Am I constantly visiting other people’s profiles or websites to compare how I am doing against them? When other people speak well of others, am I sliding in comments that undermine their credibility? Am I judging others’ motives in ways that are based on jealousy of their recognition and success? 7. A driven person often possesses a volcanic force of anger, which can erupt anytime he senses opposition or disloyalty.  Am I kind to people who work with and for me but venting or exploding to my spouse or children? Do I handle criticism with humility, searching for the kernel of truth, or do I push back in hostility? 8. Driven people are usually abnormally busy, and averse to play, and usually avoid spiritual worship.  Am I sabotaging Sabbath to accomplish more? Do my spouse, children, and friends find me enjoyable to be around, or snappy and irritable? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a driven man. CALLED MEN Jesus wasn’t driven; he was called. Called to the work the Father gave him, called to be a beloved son, called to glorify the Lord, and called to die a seemingly untimely death where the majority of what he gave himself for would not be realized in his time on earth. Yet Jesus lived with kindness, passion, conviction, and love. I want to be a called man.  1. Called people value obedience over results. 1 Corinthians 3 says we have each been given a task but it is God who makes things grow. Growth is the result of God’s sovereignty. There is no formula, conference talk, life hack, or podcast that can make God bless you. Called people delight in the affirmation of the Father, not the response of the crowd. 2. Called people focus on who they are becoming not only what they are achieving.  The primary call in our lives is to become more like Jesus. Often in work, we can live in rhythms and patterns that draw us away from the love of God into an obsession with external results. But who we become is more important than what we achieve. We have all had disappointing encounters with people who are impressive from the outside but selfish and driven up close. Called people worry about becoming more like Jesus, not simply doing things for him. 3. Called people focus on the Day of Judgment rather than judging other people’s lives. We are called to make sure our motives and leadership are pure and leave space for God to sort out the rest. 1 Corinthians 4:5 says, "Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God." 4. Called people celebrate God’s work in others without comparing or criticizing them.  Comparison is the cancer of our public age. Called people rejoice when Jesus is lifted up and the Kingdom of God is advancing, even if they don’t get the recognition or credit. 5. Called leaders worry about the health of their people, not their platform or profile. At the end of the day, we will all be pushed off the stage of history by the generation that comes behind us. I can even feel their hand on my back right now. Zinzendorf had it right: Preach the gospel, die, be forgotten. But be reunited with Christ in heaven with the saints in all their glory, readied for the New Heaven and Earth, transformed to rule and reign as a king and a priest forever. That’s a call big enough for the heart of any man alive and better than any ambition. I'm praying as you begin to reflect on 2023 and turn your eyes to 2024, you look to his calling and not your drive. We need a generation of called men more than ever before. Hoping you hear his voice with more clarity and kindness this week. Thanks for reading. Cheers. Jon. Also folks, with it being the end of the year, Jefferson and I reworked some things and launched a nonprofit this year called Reforming Men. Our heart is to reach, disciple, and reform men across the world for the glory of Jesus. If you would like to support the organization with a tax-deductible donation, you can email jeff@formingmen.com for more details. Just let him know the amount on the email, and he’ll get you setup!