Inside Out 33

 I was raised with rules that seemed far more strict and restrictive than anyone my age. I knew that if I violated any of the expectations there would be severe punishment and a tongue lashing. I experienced God’s saving grace at an early age and looking back, I’m convinced that the Spirit guided me and protected me from rebellion and from self condemnation. The Spirit helped me to see through the fog of rules and half truths taught by church attendees. God guided me to find InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at UNL, along with genuine followers of Christ. It was a process that continues to mold my thinking, emotions and behavior, that often makes me feel alone when I absent mindedly compare myself to someone else. Romans 8 is a powerful teaching, that we need to live by the Spirit, not fleshly desires to promote self and manipulate under the Christian banner. My guilt and shame is the enemy’s strategy and my sin embedded twist to miss the kingdom and avoid His righteousness. 

“So in the midst of our struggle with indwelling sin, we must continually keep our focus on the gospel. We must always go back to the truth that even in the face of the fact that so often "I do not do the good that I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing" (Rom 7:19), there is no condemnation. God no longer counts our sins against us (Rom 4:8). Or, to say it another way, God wants us to find our primary joy in our objectively declared justification, not in our subjectively perceived sanctification. Regardless of how much progress we make in our pursuit of holiness, it will never come close to the absolute perfect righteousness of Christ that is ours through our union with him in his life and death. So we should learn to live with the discomfort of the justified life. We should accept the fact that as still-growing Christians we will always be dissatisfied with our sanctification. But at the same time, we should remember that in Christ we are justified.” - Jerry Bridges p. 94, Justified: Modern Reformation