I was taught to keep quiet when it came to personal struggles and mistakes. It was important to appear as the perfect kid, staying out of trouble. But I am relearning how important it is to share vulnerabilities and weaknesses to safe people. One of my granddaughters has the conclusion that there are two kinds of people: 1) those who are fake, pretending that everything is ok; 2) real people - I’m not kidding anyone about who I am. I’d like to be the hero of my story, getting credit for what I’ve done. I’d like to be noticed and have everyone notice my efforts. But with that mindset, I protect and promote myself, hiding my fears.
“We all have been sinned against. We all sin. You have failed to love me as you should and I have failed to love you. Your failure to love me is painful, sometimes profoundly disappointing. But the Lord’s love for me is perfect. Although His love does not remove a sting of your failure, it gives me all I need to stand as a whole person, capable of loving you regardless of the threat of your further failure.
And that is my responsibility, to love you. My love for you (not yours for me) determines in large measure my experience of joy and my sense of intactness. I can love because I am loved perfectly and fully by God. And my love for you matters. It can draw you to Christ, it gives my life power and value in His plan, it brings glory to God. And, as I falteringly learn to love you without self-protection, I edge toward the longed-for reality of abundant living.” - Larry Crabb, Inside Out
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